


Every track has a vocal (and that makes a change)

by Two_Divided_by_Zero



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14287680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Two_Divided_by_Zero/pseuds/Two_Divided_by_Zero
Summary: “I pity those who believe themselves incapable of creating art.”“Why, teacher?”Madarame smiled. “All those ideas - all those voices in your head - telling you tocreate... They don't just die, you see?”After what happened in Kaneshiro's palace, Yusuke started wishing they would.





	1. Misstep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was an accident...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I played P5, so I took some liberties with Kaneshiro's palace. I hope you all can forgive that!

_“ **Joker!** Joker put it back now!”_

_“Oh my- dude, **put it back**! Fuck, Fox-!”_

_“I don’t have any magic left! Oh my god, **what do we do**?!”_

_“ ** _Someone get his hand out of there!_** ”_

_“Fuck, I think he’s going into shock! Yu-fuck- I mean, Fox! What's going on, man? Can you talk to me? Hey, stay with us!”_

\---

“Look at the way the light plays off of the different textures of metal,” Fox turned his finger frame to focus on another area of the hall, “ _especially_ where the walls change from smooth to corrugated! Have you ever seen anything like it?!”

Skull sighed before kicking his club up to his shoulder. “Uh, no? And dude, could you tone down the artist-icism a little? I think you're freaking our new teammate out a little.”

“Actually, I find it-”

Before she could finish that thought, a furious Panther stomped over. Fox briefly paused his admiration of the structure to see he deliver an open-palmed swat to the back of his head. “Do you always _have_ to be such a jerk? What are you, jealous?”

“ **Of what?!**

‘If only that mask didn't cover her face…’ Fingers twitching with the desire to _paint_ , Fox reached for a paint brush that was not there in hopes of capturing the smirk on Panther’s face just then. Sly and smug, it was every bit as feline as her phantom thief outfit. 

(He'd never tell her, knowing how uncomfortable the ensemble made her feel, but it truly did suit her personality quite well.)

Panther brushed a pigtail over her shoulder in an imitation of nonchalance. “Oh, how quickly you've forgotten that I was in your figure drawing class-”

“ **No** -!”

“ _Who needs alarm systems when we have these two numbskulls to all but announce our presence for us?!_ ” Mona interrupted from his perch on a smiling Joker’s shoulder, “hey Kaneshiro! Guess what? **We're here**!”

The bickering couple backed down, looking visibly ashamed of their behavior, while their leader patted Mona on the head. “Don't you think that was a little harsh?”

Ryuji smiled sheepishly under their mascot’s harsh glare while Panther bowed her head ruefully. “No.”

“Mona…” Their newest teammate stepped up then to take a turn soothing him. “You must admit, walking through a giant safe tumbler in a cognitive reality is a bit… _much_ to take in. Can you blame them for forgetting the mission?”

Tail swishing across Joker’s back, Mona snorted derisively. “Of course!”

“Mona…”

“How can they forget the mission when _we are walking inside the wall of a giant safe?!_ ”

Sensing it was his time to step in, Joker stepped forward and clapped twice for attention. “Alright alright, settle down everyone. We wouldn't want to draw any unwanted attention…”

Mona huffed. “If we haven't already!”

Suddenly aware of how quiet it had gotten, Fox cleared his throat. Once he had their leader's attention, he suggested, “why don't we return to the safe room at the upper floor? Perhaps it would be easier to find a path with a vantage?”

Despite some grumbling from Mona, the group eventually agreed it was the best course of action. They all turned to leave, but not before Fox caught Joker giving him a grateful smile.

How Akira even manages their team of misfits sometimes, he would never understand. If that look was any indication, he only _barely_ does.

\---

 

It was their fourth day raiding Kaneshiro’s bank and the air felt charged with more than Captain Kidd’s zio skills. ‘There's still plenty of time,’ their leader was apt to point it, but it went unheard more often than not. Even their newest, most rational teammate was prone to pacing and thumping her knuckles against the safe room walls on the rare occasion they did stop for breaks.

Even now, Queen was clenching and unclenching her fists with enough force to make the leather squeak. Over and over and over…

“That's been enough time, right?!” Skull snapped, “c’mon, we're so freakin’ close! Let's just go and kick his pretentious ass!”

 _Snort._ “I didn't know Skull even knew what the word ‘pretentious' me-mmph?!”

Mona glared balefully at the hand Joker had clamped of his mouth. He squinted his eyes and gave a stifled _hssss_ before settling down again. Once it was clear he was done instigating, Joker smiled and removed his hand. After a quick pet to Mona’s head - “Do I look like a cat to you?!” - he leaned over the desk in the center of the room. “While I'm sure we would all like to just charge in there, that plan obviously did not work.”

“Stupidity” Queen chimed in, “is attempting the same act twice and expecting different results. Given that we are not stupid-” she abruptly snapped her finger and pointed at Mona before he could retort “- we need a better way of going about this.”

“Work smarter, not harder.”

Joker shot Fox and grateful look. “Precisely! So, does anyone have any ideas?”

Fox held up a hand. “If I may?”

Goemon shimmered into existence briefly before coating the desk in a fine layer of frost. As he faded away, Fox leaned over and began tracing his finger through the ice.

“This may not be 100% accurate, but to the best of my knowledge…” He muttered to himself while the others watched in awe.

What felt like only seconds later, there was a fairly detailed image of the lock maze taking up the entire surface.

“That's...pretty impressive, Fox…” Panther gasped.

Oblivious to the praise, Fox drew a series of X’s on the makeshift map. “Here is the entrance to the maze and here-” he traced a path through the outermost ring “-is where we were earlier. Given the existence of a sublayer, I've drawn approximations of where there may be staircases.”

“Is that the treasure at the center then?”

Behind his mask, Fox smirked. “I thought it was a fairly safe assumption to make.”

“This is an excellent place to start at least. Thank you, Fox.” 

Joker nodded at Queen before walking to the door. “Well then, shall we?”

\---

The second tumbler was where everything went wrong.

Queen and Joker were busy examining a PIN panel while the other four were searching the walls for clues. Security boxes were being tugged to no avail and the ‘incorrect PIN’ sound echoed repeatedly.

Skull was practically hanging from a box when Fox took notice of a small gap in the floor. He squatted down to look closer before announcing, “we must be near a staircase! I can see the subfloor!”

Everything happened in a blur after that. All Fox registered was a sudden tone before the floor shifted beneath their feet. His right hand fell to the floor to help keep his balance, unfortunately grabbing onto the edge of the gap to the other floor. One second, everything was moving and the next, the floor had shifted and sealed the gap.

Fox did not move his fingers in time to avoid them being crushed between the metal.

After that, everything seemed to happen both impossibly slow and fast at the same time.

Panther was screaming, that he was certain of. She must have been calling for Joker because he and Queen materialized soon enough. Queen then started commanding the others to do _something_ he couldn't hear over the blood pounding in his ears. 

He tried to sit upright, only to be stopped by an odd tugging sensation on his right arm. Curious, he looked over to see his arm just _end_ at the wrist where his glove was trapped between the metal.

Mona began swatting his face and saying something as the vault suddenly became very cold. Finally - mercifully - he passed out from the shock as the floor finally shifted to free what remained of his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to make it this far!
> 
> This idea wouldn't leave my head. I feel terrible for doing this to Yusuke, but it will get better!
> 
> Leave a comment or kudo if you'd like to read more? I really appreciate them all!


	2. Touchable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out there are some wounds a Dia spell just can't fix.

“Mona, wai-!”

It was too late; green light had already enveloped the bloodied glove and every one watched in a mixture of terror and disgust as the flat material slowly began to regain shape. Momentary shock overtook Joker, causing him to freeze, before he snapped out of it. “Mona, stop!”

“Wha-?” The suddenness of the shouting startled Mona enough to where he lost concentration on casting the spell part way through. 

When he turned to their leader for answers, Joker had the most uncharacteristic look of horror on his face. It had been a joke in the past that the only facial expression Joker was capable of in the cognitive world was smug; seeing something other than a confident smirk sent the first of many frissions of panic slithering down his spine.

“Joker?” He queried quietly and shivered when there was no immediate response.

{Was it always so _cold_ down here? It's true the walls were made of what looked like polished steel, but hadn't even noticed the chill until then.)

After an extended period of silence during which everyone seemed to be growing paler by the second, Mona asked again. “Joker…?”

“It's his _hand_ ,” Joker eventually mourned, “it isn't just a bruise or a cut. Hands have so many delicate bones _he's an artist and his hand…_ ”

“Oh no…” Queen gasped out before turning slightly green, “what have we… He needs to see a doctor _immediately_.”

Morgana dropped the spell and began eyeing the team frantically, looking for answers as to why everyone suddenly looked so alarmed. “What's wrong? This has always worked in the past. Why wouldn't it work now?!”

“Mona…”

Joker clenched his hands into fists before taking a couple of deep breaths. Once he had calmed down, he attempted to explain. “It's always been cuts and bumps in the past, maybe a bruised rib or two. We've never relied on magic for something like _reconstructing all the bones in someone's hand_.”

Mona went uncharacteristically silent at the revelation of just how grave the situation was. He glanced down to the hand-shaped mass now filling Fox's glove and swallowed. “...What do we do?”

“We need to leave,” Joker explained while bending down to loop Fox's uninjured arm over his shoulder, “and get him to a hospital immediately.”

Without needing to be asked, Skull stepped forward and placed his arms beneath Fox's knees to help their leader heft their unconscious teammate up. He grit his teeth when his bad knee protested and nodded to the other. “Lead on, Joker.”

With a solemn nod, Joker started back toward the safe room with his team in tow. 

\---

Almost as soon as they returned to the real world, Ann had her phone out to call a cab. A car arrived mercifully fast and the team piled in as quickly as possible. Akira took the front seat with the driver, requesting that they be dropped off at the nearest hospital.

No one was in the mood to say much; their driver obviously did not pick up on the morose air surrounding his passengers and took it upon himself to break the silence.

“He party a little too hard or something?” The driver glanced up in his rearview mirror at Yusuke laying passed out across his friends’ laps.

Rather than respond, the girls’ frowns deepened and Ryuji clenched his teeth before glaring out the window. To the outsider, it looked like a silent affirmation that his assumption was correct.

Their driver snorted derisively before returning his eyes to the road. “Maybe next time tell your friend to lay off the drinks.”

Akira grimaced. “Next time,” he echoed flatly.

No one spoke again until they arrived and Akira thanked the man after paying their fare.

\---

True to the stereotype, the hospital waiting room was both somber and sterile. There was a rack of work magazines by the door promising ‘10 Ways to Improve Your Decor!’ and ‘How to Tell If He is Really Into You!’, no doubt castaways from some staff worker. White linoleum that had yellowed over time ran the length of the waiting room, covered with rows after row of chairs. The vinyl was littered with cracks and creaked every time someone stood up.

Across from their huddle, a woman stared with dead eyes at a TV showing some generic movie. She had arrived a little after they did with a little boy in tow. Ever since a nurse had come to take the child away, she had been wringing the arm of a small stuffed bear. She was obviously trying her hardest not to break down then and there.

The Phantom Thieves of Heart were not dating much better right then either. 

Under the harsh lights, all of them looked pale and wan. Everyone but Akira had red splotches high on their cheeks and bloodshot eyes (even Ryuji, who had never actually allowed his tears to fall). They had scooted their chairs into a makeshift huddle, all holding hands or draping arms over each others backs. That feeling of someone missing was painfully felt by all and even Morgana was squirming miserably inside his bag.

The silence was eventually broken - albeit reluctantly - by Ann.

“What'll we tell them?” she tearfully queried while fiddling with the hem of her jacket. “We can't tell them the truth about what happened. What do we do?”

Makoto reached over and took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You heard the doctor; their primary concern is to help him right now. For now, let's focus on staying strong for Yusuke's sake. Can you do that for him?”

(Despite her strong words and actions, she was obviously putting up a façade. Everyone could see her hand quivering, the minute tremble at the corner of her lip that betrayed the tears wanting to fall… )

Ryuji took her other hand and raised it up. “You really think something like this will put down a member of the Phan-!”

Ann had broken free of his hold to smack a hand over his mouth. “Quiet, you idiot! Did you forget we're in public?”

Akira was surprised to find himself stifling laughter at how _normal_ their bickering was, despite the heavy mood. Even Makoto couldn't completely hide an undignified snort, after which she flushed in embarrassment. 

For her part, Ann looked briefly shocked when she realized what she had done before dissolving into quiet tears. Her hand fell back to her lap before Ryuji picked it back up. “C’mon now, don't cry. He's gonna pull through this, you'll see. You know what the say about foxes having nine lives and all!”

“Cats are the ones with nine lives, you dunce…”

He dimpled in response to the familiar sass and gripped her fingers just a little bit tighter. “Heh, you're right. Guess I really am a dunce, aren't I?”

While the others comforted each other, Akira watched and idly stroked Morgana's fur from inside the bag. He focused on the texture of the fur between his fingers, how soft it felt beneath his hand…

“...You're blaming yourself, aren't you?”

Morgana cautiously poked his head out of the bag, well aware that animals were not allowed in the hospital. His ears were flattened to his head in consternation as he looked up at Akira.

For his part, Akira forced his face to remain as neutral as possible. “I think the nurse is looking this way.

“This isn't your fault. You do know that, right?”

“She's looking this way.”

For a supposed human, Morgana gave a surprisingly cat-like snarl before pulling back in. “You can't shoulder all the blame for this. How could you have known this would happen? It's called an ‘accident’ for a reason.”

Rather than respond, Akira moved close enough to Ann to lean in for a hug. As his shoulder gradually became damp, he felt Makoto and then Ryuji both wrap their arms around to make it into a group hug. They remained that way, all taking turns mourning and comforting, until a nurse eventually called them up.

\---

Under the effects of morphine, Yusuke felt as though his brain had been scooped from his head and replaced with cotton. Everything felt warm and fuzzy and the world seemed to blur at the edges.

He opened his mouth to...he forgot why, actually...only to discover his mouth was terribly dry. The sensation of his tongue actually sticking to his teeth momentarily caused his skin to crawl.

Once he stopped trying to moisten his lips with his dry tongue, Yusuke took note of how _white_ the room he was in was. He looked down at the white sheets pooled around his toes, to the stark white walls, down to the white floor. Fluorescent bulbs flooded the room with stark, white light.

‘Hospital’ flirted briefly through his drug addled mind before fading back into the ether.

After a few minutes of trying and failing to piece together where he was, Yusuke noticed a steady _beep beep beep_ coming from somewhere nearby. He leaned forward, noticing how the sounds seemed to be coming more rapidly now, before looking over to his right. 

Two realizations hit him then: ‘that's a heart rate monitor’ then ‘that's my heartbeat.’

But why would he be hooked up to a heart rate monitor?

‘Wait, what happened to my ha-?’

It was then that the door opened and a harried nurse led a group of people into his room.

They shuffled in soberly and Yusuke's eyes immediately flew to the somber blonde when - “would you be my model?”

A sudden - and surprising - wave of shame overcame him at his sudden outburst, providing a distraction from how the girl's eyes had widened and filled with fresh tears at his words.

(Subconsciously, he must have remembered how Ann had admitted quietly that modeling requests sometimes made her feel self-conscious. Kamoshida had not been the first to make her feel victimized for her looks and she had woefully admitted that he would likely not be the last)

Before anything else could be said, a dark-haired boy stepped forward to give him a weak grin. “Hey Yusuke. How are you feeling?”

“What happened to me?” he tried to say before choking on air. The boy - ...Akira? - seemed to pick up on his distress and reached for a convenient pitcher of water on a bedside table near the monitor. After a glass was poured, Yusuke reached out blearily when Akira shouted, “no, don't!”

The damage had been done; Yusuke was suddenly and painfully aware of the layers of bandages covering his hand.

… _Was that even his hand anymore?_

Everything seemed to come into painful focus then. Like an overdeveloped photo, the room and everything in it became so bright it was painful. He noticed the way Akira suddenly refused to make eye contact, the way the other three (Makoto, Ann and Ryuji, he remembered now) seemed to flock closer together.

Heart now audibly racing thanks to the heart rate monitor faithfully _beep beep beeping_ away, Yusuke took note of the various needles poking out of his arm. Various bags with labels he couldn't read were attached to the needles, no doubt filling his veins with a cocktail of chemicals.

Through the fog of painkillers, the first twinges of pain crept up from what he thought might be his fingers. He stared and stared at the bandages, not noticing the way his breathing picked up until he was hyperventilating.

The last he remembered of his friends before they were hustled from the room by a trio of harried nurses was Akira murmuring, “I'm so, _so_ sorry, Yusuke.”

The painkillers the nurses gave him were mercifully efficient and he soon slipped back into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this idea of mine was a touch on the dark side, so I was thrilled to see such a positive response to the first chapter! I promise that 'angst with happy ending' tag is there for a reason!
> 
> I worry that I may have went a little OOC, but I tried to write how I think they genuinely would react to,a failure like this. In the game, I can't think of a time where they face a true loss like a permanent injury (except Haru's dad, which they actually rebound from fairly easily). If one of their own got hurt, I think it would be a rather grim reminder that they aren't as untouchable as they thought.
> 
> In any case, thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed! Comments and kudos are always appreciated~


	3. Basal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nowhere to go from the bottom but up and this was surely the bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More liberties taken with injuries and hospital procedures. Also, I strongly recommend NOT googling "fasciotomy" images...

When next he surfaced from the waves of drug induced daze, there was a smiling man in a white coat flanked by two prim women.

 

He had enough peace of mind to gather that they were hospital staff at least. Judging from their demeanor, Yusuke gathered that the man must be his doctor. It was a challenge, but after some comical squinting, he managed to convince his eyes to focus enough to see their faces.

 

That was a mistake; all he saw on their faces besides a painted on smile was pity and if there was one thing he was tired of, it was people looking at him with pity. Ever since his mother died…

 

“Hey there, Yusuke. How are you feeling?”

 

The doctor spoke softly and slowly, as though he were trying not to spook a particular skittish animal. Something about that made him want to yell.

 

“Your friends brought you here in a pretty bad state. We did our best to address the immediate concerns, but now there are some bigger issues to tackle.”

 

Choosing to remain silent, Yusuke watched the doctor gesture to one of the nurses. She handed him a clipboard full of what looked like papers and charts littered with sticky. He offered her thanks before returning to his patient.

 

“You seem to have a rather severe crush injury to your right hand,” the doctor stated calmly, which is what caused you to go into shock and eventually syncope. When your friends brought you in, we were not initially suspecting the damage to be so great considering how little you were actually bleeding…”

 

“...Syncope…?” Even to his own ears, his voice sounded so far away.

 

Apparently pleased to hear him speak, the doctor smiled. “You fainted. ‘Syncope’ is just a medical term for it.”

 

“I see…”

 

“We suspect that you have some serious muscle and tissue damage in your fingers. Also, once the painkillers wear off, you will likely experience a sensation similar to pins and needles in your extremities. If that is the case, please let myself or a staff member know, alright?”

 

Yusuke nodded and the man stood up to hand the paperwork back to a nurse. 

 

( _He was momentarily startled by that because he hadn’t really been cognizant enough to realize the doctor was sitting in the first place-_ )

 

“We're going to send you for a tetanus shot first, which is standard procedure for an injury such as this. Afterwards, should you agree to the surgery, we will perform a fasciotomy to alleviate the pressure on your muscles and nerves.” A light was shined briefly in each, causing spots to swim in his vision. Once it was finished, he heard a pen scratching against paper as the doctor took note of his reaction.

 

Sensing a lull, Yusuke spoke up. “Am I going to be alright?”

 

At that, his doctor frowned. “In the case of a major crush injury, there is often serious damage below the skin, including tissues, organs, muscles and bones,” he explained. “A crush injury will often cut off the flow of blood in the damaged appendage, leading to serious muscle and tissue damage, as well as numbness and possible paralysis.”

 

“I’m not going to lie to you and promise that we can provide a perfect fix, but I can promise you that everything that can be done to help you _will_ be done.”

 

It did little to alleviate the sinking feeling growing in his gut, but Yusuke nodded all the same.

 

(Morphine, he discovered later, did _wonders_ on just that.)

 

\---

 

Ann had dropped by for a brief visit before his surgery. Her smile lit up the room as she reached into a bag to hand him something warm and wrapped in wax paper. It was a strawberry crepe, she explained, from his favorite store. There was a second one in the bag for Shiho, who she planned to visit while he was out.

 

Every time her eyes lingered too long on his hand, they became glossy with tears. She never actually cried, which he was exceedingly grateful for, but she came close several times.

 

Up to that point, Yusuke had secretly nursed this fear that all of his old teammates would handle him with kid gloves. He should have known better; Ann was every bit as boisterous and beautiful as she was the day he first decided that she should be his model. Her bright chatter and easy smile brought him more joy than even the delicious break from hospital food. Even though he was (understandably) not in the most talkative of moods, she more than made up for it by talking about what felt like every topic she could think of.

 

When she eventually stood to leave, promising to maybe introduce him to Shiho when he was feeling better, he accidentally waved goodbye with his injured hand. Rather than flinch away like he worried she might, she smiled softly and wished him a safe operation.

 

\---

 

“Hey there, man. How’s it been?”

 

Yusuke blinked in recognition, still slightly foggy from his operation earlier that day. Fresh bandages covered up to his elbow now with several IV’s poking through and delivering who-knows-what into his veins. Overall, he must have made a ghastly sight and it was a miracle Ryuji was not recoiling in disgust.

 

There was a brief moment of confusion over why he was there before Yusuke noticed the way the sun peaked through his window. Judging from the sky, it was a little past noon. That _was_ about visiting time, wasn’t it?

 

(It was a miniscule blessing that he had received a room on the western side of the hospital, though an eastern facing room would have worked just as well. Trapped in a perpetual state of semi-awareness from all the painkillers, the only way Yusuke could be sure time was passing was to watch the shadows grow and shrink throughout the day. It made sense now why so many artists at school found inspiration in something as simple as the passage of time.)

 

When Ryuji took a seat at the side of his bed, Yusuke noticed his hands were full. “What..?”

 

“Oh, a nurse saw me heading in and asked if I wouldn’t mind dropping off your lunch!” Ryuji passed him a tray full of food before slumping back into his seat. “Man, for hospital food, that actually looks pretty good! You lucked really lucked out, didn’t you?”

 

Without looking up from the neatly packed bento, Yusuke quipped, “‘lucky’ isn’t quite the word I would use.”

 

Ryuji actually _flinched_ upon realizing his faux pas, throwing his hands up in apology. “Shit- I am so sorry man, you know I didn’t-!”

 

While it was somewhat amusing hearing Ryuji trip over his words, Yusuke held up his good hand to silence it. “It’s fine, Ryuji. Please, don’t worry about it.”

 

Noting the look of gratitude on his friend’s face, Yusuke then turned his attention to his meal of a cooked mackerel, soba noodles, seaweed salad and fruit. While it was true that the food _did_ look rather tasty, there was one more obstacle to deal with sitting innocently enough next to the box.

 

How...was he supposed to hold his chopsticks?

 

Eating was not a problem he had considered. There had always been an orderly or _someone_ to help him before, but now...

 

“Oh, fuck…” Ryuji muttered as Yusuke fumbled an attempt to hold his chopsticks between his mangled fingers. He even used his left hand to attempt to bend the digits properly, but to no avail. Try after try ended in failure as the sticks kept clattering against the tray.

 

Rather than make a scene over the frustrated tears beading at the corner of his friend's eyes, Ryuji scooted a chair up to the side of Yusuke’s bed and picked up the chopsticks. Ignoring his obvious awkwardness - Yusuke knew it wasn’t just the setting sun painting his friend’s face that vibrant red - Ryuji managed to scoop up a piece of mackerel and hold it up to Yusuke’s mouth.

 

“S-Say ‘a-a-ahh’?” Before Yusuke could comply, the fish slipped free and plopped onto the white sheet below. The two boys stared - one in mortification, one in shock - before Yusuke unexpectedly burst into laughter.

 

Tears spilled down his cheeks as he laughed, jostling the sheet enough for the mackerel to roll off his lap and onto the floor. It was silent for a moment before Ryuji gave a quiet snort of amusement. The entire situation had devolved into such a mess, it was impossible _not_ to laugh.

 

It took several attempts before Ryuji was able to successfully feed Yusuke without giggling and dumping more food into his lap, but they eventually managed. Belly now full and sides aching from laughter, Yusuke realized that it was the first time since the accident he actually still felt like a member of the team.

 

When a nurse came to inform them that visiting hours were now over, Yusuke secretly relished the way Ryuji’s face pinched in disappointment. Knowing he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed their visit together filled his chest with lightness.

 

\--

 

The next time he would visit, Ryuji brought a bowl of stew and western utensils to eat it with. Even as the spoon trembled in his hands, Yusuke remembered thinking it was one of the best things he’d ever eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand this marks the point where things start looking up for everyone! Thank you to everyone for sticking it out through the doom and gloom! After writing all of this, I'm more than ready to write some more positivity with the rest of the thieves! I've already got some ideas worked out in my head...
> 
> (Trying to plot "how would the phantom thieves react differently to tragedy" is not the most fun brainstorming session I've ever had, not going to lie.)
> 
> Thank you for those who left kudos and comments as well! I'm so happy at the positive response to continuing this (and the threat that went right over my head!) and will use that as motivation to keep going! I can't promise updates will always be this fast, but I will do my best not to let you down!
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading and I appreciate any feedback!


	4. Explaining pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yusuke receives three visitors the day before he is released when he was only expecting two.
> 
> One visit goes worse and the other better than expected.

On July 2nd, the day before he was to be released from the hospital, Akira finally came to visit.

(With Morgana in tow, of course.)

While still mostly reliant on western utensils to eat, Yusuke had already noticed a drastic improvement on his fine motor skills since the surgery. An elderly nurse in particular peppered him with encouragement the night before when he had successfully managed to eat an entire bowl of miso without spilling a drop. Funny how life had changed to the point where something as mundane as holding a spoon without trembling had become an achievement worthy of celebration.

Ryuji must have spoken to him beforehand; there was a spoon resting on what smelled like a container packed with Mr. Sakura’s famous curry. He was too hungry to be embarrassed at the way his stomach snarled at the sight.

Akira chuckled weakly before swinging a seat over to his bed. “What, are they not feeding you here?”

It was a poor attempt at a joke, but Yusuke was not about to point that out when Akira was already visibly on edge. “You might be surprised, but the food here is surprisingly delicious?”

Akira reeled back in mock offense. “I'm guessing you won't want to sully your palate with this swill then?”

“ _Oh for_ \- will you drop the theatrics already?” It was then Morgana slinked free of his portable prison and made himself comfortable on Yusuke's bed. “Shouldn't you know by now that he's _always_ hungry?!”

“It’s true,” Yusuke chimed in, “and even if it wasn’t, I can always make room for some of LeBlanc’s infamous curry.”

That caused Akira’s face to light back up before he handed over the packed curry. He leaned in then and, in a loud but conspiratorial whisper, confided, “it’s for reasons like that I suspect LeBlanc has stayed in business all these years. Either that or out of sheer stubbornness!”

The only warning Akira received was a sharp _hss_ before a black and white blur launched directly at his face. “I’m telling Sojiro you said that!”

Without batting an eyelash at the flurry of paws in his face, Akira quipped back, “how? Through ‘meow’-rse code?”

There was a temporary ceasefire as Morgana considered those words before the assault resumed tenfold. “... **That was terrible!** ”

Yusuke actually paused thoughtfully before chiming in, “actually, it was quite clever to have been thought up on the fly. As to be expected of Akira.”

“Fox~” Morgana whined, “not you, too!”

The one-sided scuffle continued for the better part of fifteen minutes, with barbs and terrible puns being lobbed back in forth. Rather than curry, Yusuke wished he had some form of crunchy junk food to munch on while observing his own personal comedy routine. 

When the squabbling wound down and the mood turned unexpectedly somber, Yusuke was completely blindsided.

“We’re leaving after this.” Akira did not need to say where they were going; Yusuke knew he was referring to Kaneshiro’s bank. Up to that point, he had never considered that the phantom thieves would ever venture into the metaverse _without him_. Chopsticks were not a sword; _surely_ he could be of _some_ use to them…!

(It wasn’t until much later, with a fallen broom at his feet, that Yusuke would realize exactly how wrong that line of thought was. Thankfully, he was alone in the sanctity of his dorm room by that point; he couldn’t imagine the humiliation if a nurse were to walk in and see the way he teared up over a fallen cleaning utensil.)

There was suddenly a hand on his shoulder and Yusuke wanted to simultaneously lean into it and brush it off. 

“We have a deadline, you _know_ that…” Akira retracted his arm then and looked to Morgana. After a brief starting match was concluded with Morgana standing up, turning his back to their leaded and sitting back down, Akira slumped over in resignation. As a leader, this was his job and his job alone to deliver bad news. “You know what he’ll do to Makoto…”

“I do.”

“I can’t just… _we can’t_ -!”

“Who are you really trying to convince here?”

While unexpectedly more curt than he would have liked, Yusuke did not regret finally speaking what was on his mind. Having something or someone to blame would make coming to terms with his loss easier, but ultimately, it was an accident. If the victim himself could come to terms (more or less) with that truth, why couldn’t Akira?

It was then that Akira very quietly stood up. “I just realized I forgot to pack you a napkin.”

No, they needed to talk about this! “Akira!”

Without another word, he just left.

All of a sudden, the box of curry felt unbearably heavy on Yusuke’s lap. Even as his stomach growled, the thought of even a bite of curry made him feel queasy.

“He blames himself, but I'm certain I don't need to tell you that.” Morgana was not looking at him, but his tense posture was indicative of wanting a response.

“I wish he wouldn't.”

 _Sigh_. “I thought you might say that, but…” he shrugged - ‘who knows?’ - before continuing. “It's not my place to tell him.”

“Mine, I assume?” 

Another sigh was his response, which Yusuke echoed. They were no doubt thinking the same thing. “Forgive me for saying this, but I assume that it would make very little difference.”

“A good leader is one that takes a little more than his share of the blame,” Morgana mused, “and Joker is nothing short of a good leader.”

“A great leader…”

“That's why I picked him…”

“‘I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep,’” Yusuke recited, “‘I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.’”

That earned a weak chuckle from Morgana, which was decidedly weird when coming from what looked to all the world to be a normal cat. “If anyone is a lion in this team, it’s definitely me!”

Mood broken, Yusuke gave Morgana’s head a pat and received a snarl in response. “Aren’t lions technically considered felines?”

“ **Will you just be quiet?!** ”

When Akira eventually did return with a napkin, it was to the site of a yowling Morgana taking frantic swipes at Yusuke’s face while the former chortled freely. For a moment, it felt like just another meeting at the hideout before a mission to the metaverse.

Despite making his presence known by clearing his throat, the other two either didn’t notice or care as they continued bickering. Rather than interrupt, Akira chose to retake his seat and enjoy the free show.

It was refreshing to see and gave him a small bit of hope that maybe things could go back to the way they were before. Games with impossible odds were his forte, after all.

\---

Goro Akechi was the last person Yusuke ever would have thought would pay him a visit in the hospital.

Well no, that was a lie. That implies Yusuke had actually given _any_ thought to Akechi visiting him and to say that he had was a bald faced fib.

In any case, to say that his presence was a shock was a massive understatement. Even though the constant fog of painkillers had long-since receded, Yusuke felt as though his mind and body were completely disconnected at the sight of the high school detective in his doorway.

Under the bandages, the gash from his fasciotomy began to burn. A bit like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, he almost wanted to bury his arm out of view in shame. It was a completely illogical response - he had done nothing to be ashamed of to earn this injury - but something about his very presence felt wrong.

_Almost like an accusation._

Slowly, calmly, Yusuke sat up in his bed. “I must confess; I didn’t think an art student ending up hospitalized is a case worth calling in the high school detective.”

Akechi held his hand palm up, an actor in a Shakespearean drama. “‘An art prodigy accepted to the hospital with inexplicable, yet crippling injuries to his dominant hand.’” After a dramatic pause, he dropped his hand and chuckled. “Forgive me, Mr. Kitagawa, but this sounds _exactly_ like the sort of case I should be handling.”

Oh, in all his time in the hospital… _Why hadn’t they considered a cover story_? Yusuke’s mind was racing a mile a minute, scrambling for even a _semblance_ of a convincing lie.

Luckily, he was spared. “Fortunately, the nurses filled me in on your unfortunate moving accident. Surely you could have simply retrieved your belongings from your old home without knocking over an entire bookshelf of paints!”

Atrocious though his actions may have been, Madarame had mercifully instilled the gift of glibness in all of his students lest someone interrogate them about their ‘teacher’s’ creative process. “I know that none of us are technically allowed there, but..”

“‘It’s your home,’ am I right?” 

Yusuke nodded gratefully, oblivious to the way Akechi’s eyes seemed to sharpen at the admission.

“You have far more on your plate to worry about that that, Mr. Kitagawa, such as your recovery! The doctor’s warned me that you would likely be experiencing pain and numbness for potentially another week! Not to mention all the class you have missed…” It was then he pulled out a pocket-sized notebook and began to flip through it.

Up until that point, Yusuke honestly hadn’t given much consideration to his time in the hospital besides counting down the days until it would be over. To hear someone so nonchalantly bring it up caused something cold and dense to coil in the pit of his stomach.

“As for your scholarship…” his face, which had been open and kind up to that point, twisted into a smirk, “there is nothing the public loves more than helping those they view as less fortunate. The more sensational - say, the protege of a fallen artist suddenly facing permanent disfigurement creating work to fund the scholarship he lost - the more likely people are to jump on the bandwagon!”

Yusuke’s stomach gave a nauseous flip at the casual way Akechi spoke just then, like him losing his scholarship to Kosei and becoming a sell-out to finish high school was a joke. _How could such ugly words come from such a pretty mouth_?

“Are you suggesting,” Yusuke bit out as calmly as possible, “that I pay on the public’s pity to turn a quick profit?”

“Didn’t your father figure do something similar?” Akechi seemed to be goading him into admitting something at this point, but Yusuke was too incensed by the previous implication to pay it any mind.

“ **I am not the person my teacher was, nor will I ever be.** ” Even without raising his voice, Yusuke wanted to convey that there is no room to doubt his statement. While Madarame may have been a great man and talented artist at one time, he lost what little of Yusuke’s respect he had when the truth of the Sayuri finally came out.

It looked as though Akira was not the only one guilty of shouldering undue blame; he hadn’t realized until just then how much guilt he felt at not having said something about Madarame sooner. He couldn’t have prevented what happened to his mother, but could he have made a difference in other ways? Would that gaudy museum even have existed if he had spoken up sooner?

(He wanted to go to LeBlanc to see his mother. He wanted to go to LeBlanc to talk to Akira.)

Unbeknownst to Yusuke, Akechi’s face had softened at the adamant denial. He heaved a great sigh, finally drawing Yusuke out of his musings, before snapping his notebook shut. “Men should not be judged on the deeds of their fathers. That said, I’m relieved to hear you say that.”

“...Are you?” Mood whiplash was causing Yusuke’s head to spin. 

“I didn’t become a detective because I enjoy solving crimes,” he explained with a rueful smile, “I became a detective because I wanted to stop crimes before they happened. Had you chosen to follow a similar road as your teacher, well…”

Even without voicing it, Akechi’s intent was clear; he would put a stop to that path here and now. The promise behind those words just then actually caused goosebumps to break out on the skin of his arms not covered in bandages.

It was a shame Goro Akechi would never be on their side…

“One last thing before I go; please do not worry about your scholarship to Kosei.”

“...Pardon?”

“Remember what I said about the public loving helping those less fortunate?” Akechi looked impossibly sad just then, even as his mouth quirked up in a smile. “We’re not so different, you and I. Had I been in your shoes…”

His voice trailed off then as the door frame creaked under the force of his grip. Curiosity piqued, Yusuke wanted to query in what ways the two of them could possibly be similar in any sense of the word. He wanted to ask what similarities could possibly exist between their lives.

“Please don’t think of if it as pity. Think of it as extending a helping hand to a friend in need.”

Before Yusuke could get another word in edgewise, Akechi was out the door and halfway down the hall.

If it was an act, he was a far better actor than anyone ever gave him credit for. In that moment, Yusuke truly believed that they could have been allies in another life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This...was longer than intended AND officially marks the end of my playing fast and loose with anything medical! Hooray!
> 
> I actually thought up including Akechi on my drive in to work today and the idea would not leave my head. Given the timing of everything that happened, I don't think it unreasonable to say such an incident would pop up on his radar. Also, given his doggedness in the pursuit of justice, I could see him risk upsetting a hospital patient to prove a point. While he definitely has motives, I didn't want to portray him as a villain and I hope that came across correctly. He's a complex character and I wanted to do that justice *ba dum tss*
> 
> I've been writing these chapters on my phone during lunch breaks, so I apologize for any clumsiness that may result. That said, if you are still reading and enjoy it even a little, please drop me a line and let me know? Even a one-word comment does wonders for ye olde motivation!
> 
> Thank you all for reading as always!


	5. I like the people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is finally on the upswing.

Funnily enough, Yusuke’s first reaction upon being discharged from the hospital - with strict orders to return immediately if anything changed or in two weeks for a regular check up - was to buy a ticket for Yongen-Jaya. Returning to his dorm room never even crossed his mind; LeBlanc honestly felt like more of a home by now.

One can only imagine his dismay then when, upon stepping through the door, Sojiro informed him, “he’s not in right now. Did he know you were coming?”

Not needing clarification on who ‘he’ might be referring to, Yusuke frowned. If Akira wasn’t here, then it was doubtful any of the rest of the team was. “Ah, no. I just thought since I was out of the hospital…”

Sojiro _ahh’d_ and picked up a glass and towel. Curiously, he seemed to be trying to hide a smirk while he began drying the glass. “Well, my advice to you kid is to head back home for now and rest. You’ve probably had quite the time and it would do you some good to relax. I’ll give Akira a message that you dropped by, if you’d like?”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you, Mr. Sakura.”

As Sojiro picked up another glass to clean, Yusuke took the chance to visit the Sayuri. He gave the frame a fond stroke before saying goodbye to both his mother and Sojiro.

On his way to the station, Yusuke pulled out his phone to check for any new messages. When it listed his most recent message to have been sent the day before by Ann wishing him a goodnight, he grimaced and stuck his phone back in his pocket.

\--- 

Returning to Kosei and seeing no new messages… it would be a lie to say he wasn’t disappointed. After how supportive his friends had been, taking time out of their unfathomably busy schedules as students and phantom thieves, he didn’t think it was wrong to expect at least a congratulatory group text.

Upon turning the key to his room and hearing a sudden flurry of activity from inside, he realized how wrong he had been to doubt that his friends cared, even for a moment.

“You didn't think we'd let you escape a ‘welcome home’ party, did you?” Makoto stepped forward to explode a popper directly into his stunned face. When he continued to gape in shock as confetti settled into his hair, her cheeks bloomed an embarrassed pink.

Sensing that she might be getting the wrong idea, he bent over to grab a popper of his own. With a quick tug of the string, he dusted Makoto in turn with a fine dusting of glitter. Embarrassment gave way to shock as Yusuke held his fingers up to frame her face. “There, _now_ it feels like a proper party.”

From her perch on the bed, Ann gave a whoop of delight as Ryuji wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Even Makoto, whose radiant smile outshone the glitter coating her normally tidy uniform, leaned in for hug.

Taking that as a sort of queue, Ann leapt up from the bed and took hold of Akira's arm. Despite his yelp of pain, she successfully dragged him over and gleefully shouted, “group hug!”

Saying Yusuke felt awkward was… an understatement, to say the least. Madarame had never been the most affectionate parental figure, preferring to dole out praise over any physical affection. Yusuke could count on one hand the number of times he had been hugged in his life and none of them were from his teacher.

Someone's hair kept getting in his mouth and he worried he'd lose his balance from how they kept squirming. Even Morgana had joined in to yowl in his ear, accidentally snagging his hair with a claw. It was too warm and too close…

And too short. When they all eventually let go, Yusuke could feel a familiar itch in his cheeks as his eyes became glossy. Ann must've been the first to notice, if the way her face fell was any indication. She opened her mouth, no doubt to apologize, before he interrupted.

“Thank you everyone. I could not have wished for a warmer welcome than this.”

Doubt still lingered in her eyes, but Ann’s smile returned. “We're happy to have you back.”

At that, Ryuji gave him a firm thump to the back. Choosing to ignore the way he accidentally knocked the wind out of his friend, Ryuni reeled Yusuke closer with the arm still looped over his shoulder. “C’mon pal admit it; you missed us!”

Once he caught his breath - why did Ryuji fight with a club when his fists were so accurate at hitting weak points?! - Yusuke honestly replied, “I did miss you all. Terribly so, if I'm being completely honest.”

That seemed to have caught Ryuji off guard, if the way his fingers went suddenly slack was any indication. It wasn't just him, either.

Makoto was purposefully not making eye contact, preferring to stare at the heap of sneak food he just noticed piled on his desk. It should go without saying that Akira seemed to be looking anywhere but him. Even Ann, though still mercifully meeting his eye, chewed her lip in obvious worry. “B-but we all visited you?”

“Ye-yeah man, I was just kidding!” Only then,did Ryuji finally remove his arm to take his fingers through his hair.

Just like that, it felt as though all the joy that had previously filled the room was replaced by several tons of elephant. 

No one could deny there was a distance that had never been there before the accident. The way Ryuji had tripped over himself apologizing for the chopsticks, how Akira could scarcely make eye contact during his visit...

“Yusuke is still a member of the Phantom Thieves of Heart, or did you all forget that?! So what if he was injured in an accident? Who among us _doesn't_ have scars?!”

Morgana jolted everyone from their dark thoughts with his loud exclamation. If the way his fur was standing on end was any indication, he was more than a little agitated.

“Yusuke, I'm sorry about what happened, but I'm not going to allow anyone in this room to blame themselves for what happened any longer! _I thought this was a welcoming party, not a pity party_!”

Ryuji was the first to react by slamming his fist into the desk. “Listen, ca-!”

“No, _you_ listen!” Morgana snarled in response. “No one ever said the life of a phantom thief would be easy, much less free of risk! I thought you all understood the risks when you agreed to join the Phantom Thieves of Heart! I thought you all knew that accidents could happen! We can’t change the past, but all we’re doing by dwelling on it is belittling Yusuke’s sacrifice!”

“I think...I think I understand,” Ann eventually whispered. “When I spoke to the school counselor about… she mentioned something about ‘survivor’s guilt’...”

Having been a silent spectator up to this point, Yusuke chose to speak up. “You can’t keep blaming yourselves because it didn’t happen to you. There’s still a job to do, even… even if I can no longer fight alongside you. Please don’t let guilt be the reason a horrible man gets away with his crimes!”

Akira was the first to respond, slowly reaching out to give Morgana a scritch behind the ears. Ignoring the yowl of indignation that action earned, he chuckled softly and grinned. “After such an impassioned plea, who are the Phantom Thieves to deny that request?”

Makoto, Ann, Ryuji, Morgana, Akira… all of them turned to Yusuke with a newfound determination in their eyes. Even though nothing more was said, it was more than enough to reassure him that there would be no more of this strange tension in the future.

Once everyone was able to compose themselves, Morgana nodded to himself in self-satisfaction. “Well then, now that that’s all settled, what say we open the sushi and get this homecoming started!”

Someone exploded a popper and like that, the party was back on.

\---

The afternoon gradually devolved into a video game tournament in which Makoto proved herself to be a superior, if surprising, master of first person shooters. Seeing Ryuji moan in agony as her character snuck behind the enemy teams ranks and utterly decimated them had yet to get old. Ann was always quick to scold him, often asking questions like, “would you rather lose instead?” to which he'd always respond with a despondent no.

What pleasantly surprised him was the way Akira responded to his admission of never having really played games like this before. His phone had a few mindless mobile games, but nothing of this scale.

Rather than rib him over it, Akira merely took a seat on,the bed next to him and started to explain. “You see the characters to the left? They're considered ‘DPS' characters, which stands for damage per second. Like the name implies, they are most useful for the high amounts of pain they can inflict on the enemies. Makoto seems to favor DPS, which...isn't all that surprising, now that I think about it.”

He continued on like that for the rest of the time, foregoing his own turn to play several times in favor of discussing team comps and character strengths versus weaknesses. Yusuke learned that Ryuji preferred playing tank characters, but tended to grow bored when playing defensively for too long and charge in. Makoto favored a more stealth based character and tended to play a little too safe in Akira's opinion, while Ann proved herself to be an unnervingly good sniper.

Rather than leaving Yusuke feeling like an outcast, Akira helped him enjoy the game, even if he didn't feel confident enough yet to pick up the controller himself.

(Confidence was only part of the reason; a tiny part feared not having enough dexterity anymore to even hit the buttons properly.)

The party ended up extending longer into the night than any of them probably planned. Makoto was the first to start packing up, citing that her sister was more than likely worried that she was not home at this point. As Yusuke stood to thank her for coming, she stunned everyone by leaning in for a tight hug. “Welcome back, Yusuke.”

Ryuji was especially shocked if the way he openly gawked was any indication. Despite his own shock, Yusuke returned the gesture and bid her a safe trip back home.

Ann and Ryuji were the next to leave, both citing having forgotten to study in favor of party planning. Ann also leaned in for a significantly shorter hug than Makoto’s before following Ryuji out the door. He didn’t miss the way Ryuji had looked over her shoulder as the door closed, offering a genuine smile.

“We all meant well.”

Yusuke turned to face his remaining guests. “I’m well aware.”

Morgana was hefted into his bag as Akira made to leave. “I haven’t given up on you. Once everything with Kaneshiro is over, we’re going to get you back. Even if I have to drag you and Morgana into Mementos myself, it _will_ happen.”

 _There_ was the confident assurance of their leader. “If you say so, I know it’s true.”

Morgana interrupted them be pretending to gag within the bag, which earned him a shushing. All the same, Akira said his goodbyes and left before even Sojiro would begin to worry about his well being.

Alone once more, Yusuke shuffled over to his bed and took a moment to inspect his bandages. Even knowing the severity of the wounds they hid, he had never felt more confident than in that moment that they would recover with time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to make it this far!
> 
> This idea wouldn't leave my head. I feel terrible for doing this to Yusuke, but it will get better!
> 
> Leave a comment or kudo if you'd like to read more? I really appreciate them all!


End file.
